Ratatouille

Written by:Team PlantShareReviewed by: Dina Russell Last updated on Mar 08, 2024

Before heading to my laboratory at the University, I trot downstairs to check on the laundry and to close the doors and windows in the basement that I’ve opened to air the room. The morning light streams onto the not so brand spanky-new raspberry carpet. It's a beautiful start to a fresh week.

“The light is lovely” I think, slowing down to drink in the morning. Time management is crucial to navigating an active home life in a two career marriage. Yet, carving out time to do nothing but be present are just as essential for oneself and one’s marriage I tell myself. I stand in the opening, looking out at the newly-planted maple sapling and down towards the stone steps that lead to the veggie bed. I breathe in deeply to appreciate the moment, to appreciate being alive.

“Definitely going to plant eggplant this year. Gotta try growing some heirloom varieties and try that new baked ratatouille recipe” I say aloud in the general direction of the veggie beds. The chick-a-dees and towhee chit and chatter in reply. Nature is calling in more ways than one, so I turn towards the bathroom. “I’ll close the windows in there first” I plan ahead, always looking for efficiencies and order. My contemplative moment has past and I’m on the move again.

Light and happy with the day’s progress, the well-planned week ahead, and the Spring in general, I dance toward the bathroom to wiggle out of clothes and onto the throne of necessity. I’ve turned and half-sat down when I jump vertically in alarm at what I see.

There’s a rat in the toilet.

I find myself halfway across the basement, not really sure of how I made it so far so fast with my pants half off. The chick-a-dees and towhees have fled in alarm.

Nothing like a rat in the toilet to start off your Monday.

“Well, so much for efficiency.” My light, happy mood and satisfied sense of order in a clean home have evaporated.

Nothing like a rat in the toilet to make an entire house feel unclean.

“Hello, animal control?” I query. “I have an unusual problem that I’m hoping you can help me with. Yes, the toilet is in the basement. Huh? What did you say? Really. This happens all the time?! Yes, it’s swimming around in the bowl. No, I didn’t close the toilet lid. Hang on…” I dash back into the bathroom, to check that the rat is still there. It’s there, wet fur and long whiskers still circling in what was previously my CLEAN toilet. I gingerly take the very edge of the lid and lower it gently onto the seat, imagining all the while that ‘the thing’ will leap out and run around wet and squealing all around my nice, not so brand-spanky new raspberry carpet. Or bite me.

Nothing like a rat in the toilet to give you the willies.

“So yes, animal control? Are you still there?” I quaver, panting. “Yes, it is moving. Yes, I just closed the lid. You can take it away? Great. When can you come out? Yes, I’ll wait.” She’s checking the schedule. I pace the not so brand-spanky new raspberry carpet.

“Hi, yes, I’m still here. You’re kidding, three to five business days?! But it’s Thursday! So counting today, that could be” - Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I count off silently on my fingers - “next Monday at the earliest.” I pause, listening. Ok, I understand. You’ll call the day before?”

Nothing like a rat in the toilet to fuel impatience.

“Yes, I do have another question before I let you go. Tell me, how do rats get into basement toilets? Did it crawl into my house and into my bathroom from the outside? No? It came up from the sewer pipes into my toilet!? WHY would it do that?”

Nothing like a rat in the toilet to connect you directly to the infrastructure of America.

To be continued…

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Cover image by: Dina Russell, 2018.

Images in the article by: Meredith Li-Vollmer, January 18, 2023, "What to do if a rat comes up your toilet". Source: Public Health Insider